On finding balance

Things we Need-To-Do are always there, taking prime space in our to-do lists, bandwidths and prioritisation patterns. In a way, it's easy to allow our days to be taken over by stuff we Need-To-Do.

For me, official and household work take top priority, and most days, I used to get carried away and consumed by those things. But to my tired and cliched surprise, all work and no play makes Meenu a dull (and restless) person. It's like the peace I get from doing what I Need To Do for the day is tarnished by an absence of the kind of joy and balance that come from doing some of the things I Want To Do (like taking care of my health or reading) and Love To Do (like meditation or journaling).

And things are not in well-defined boxes of Need, Want and Love. The status keeps changing. I've always loved to read but it's more in the Want-To-Do Box right now. Because I no longer read for the pure joy it brings me like meditation or journaling or hanging out. I want to read because I lost that love and voraciousness I had about it, and I want to find it again. I read often, and it brings me joy when I do, but I no longer see it in the Love-To-Do Box. It will take a certain practice, commitment and a deeper understanding of why I love to read, to re-kindle the passion I used to have for it.

We are wired to do the things we Need To Do. Not so much for the things we Love and Want. I'm wondering which box social media and Netflix currently go into, and where I want them to be. If they are in the Love-To-Do/Need-To-Do box, and so are meditation and journaling, I am currently spending my days in an imbalance of either Need Only or Need + Love Only. Physical movement (not cleaning/doing chores, but dedicated effort and attention spent in moving the body) is high in the Want-To-Do Box, but I combine exercise with cleaning the house, and consider that item checked. Dedicated reading (outside of work/casual reading) is almost nil.

It's been eye-opening to think about what takes up my days and try to put them into boxes. If I imagine the outcome as a pic of myself, I'm doing some sort of hopping circus act all day every day. Doing this has given me better clarity of why I need to take baby steps towards my Want-To-Do items.